I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
