We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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