i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
