420 ftw
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
