You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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