was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
