oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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