I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
