too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize