So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
