he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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