if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
