She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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