you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
