it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
