I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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