Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
