I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i out mim tonsoeep
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