You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
