Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
