giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
