3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
