i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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