After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
