I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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