...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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