I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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