that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
