I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
