She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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