I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
