HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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