I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
