Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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