You don't have asthma, your pregnant
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
