Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
