I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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