i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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