You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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