normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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