it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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