my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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