gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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