if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
