I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
