You can't motorboat a personality
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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