I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
