is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize