I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
