You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Buhtt sex?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize