i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize