why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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