Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize