kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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