he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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