when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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