Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
