the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it because I queefed?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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