Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
