Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
