do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
