i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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