i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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