I can text with my tongue
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
