will power is for people who don't want to get laid
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
