You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
