Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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