things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
