Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
