If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
