It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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