I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
