sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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