69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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